Thought Disorder

Saturday, February 28, 2009

WTH I just freaking wasted my Saturday. CO practice in the morning, followed by the wait for the meeting in the afternoon. Reached home at close to 4pm and ate really early dinner. Watched tv (omg super cool korean drama!) and promptly fell asleep on the couch. Then I woke up later and proceeded to upstairs to catch some real sleep. And it was 9.30 pm when I woke up! OH NO!! I shall attempt to burn midnight oil today since I've recovered all my energy by sleeping. FRKN DESPERATELY NEED TO DO WORK pls stop digressing luh I've a whole list of things to complete! And I'm extremely glad that I decided not to go for the annoying event tomorrow and next week because of some explicit reason that I definitely cannot accept.

9:41 PM

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Math Lecture Test tomorrow T__T

*gosh the online genie can read my mind! It's quite creepy that he's spot-on on who I'm thinking about for some extremely vague questions..

FOCUS! (I will kill negative, bothersome thoughts!)

8:33 PM

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Acupuncture really works wonders!

Due to my insanely hectic schedule, I decided to give the movie outing after CO a miss (make-up Slumdog Millionaire that we forsaked yesterday but sponsored by ourselves #^@#) and go to the sinseh to treat my injured knee. Apparently the pain has not been alleviated by the increased intake of glucosamine, medicated rubs and plasters for the past few days. Since marginal benefit of treating the injury outweights marginal cost of missing the movie outing, I decided that visiting the Chinese physician would be a more rational option.

My dad said that acupuncture really did 'cure' his painful shoulder; I, too, opted for that option for instant pain relief. Before I did the treatment, I kind of doubted its effectiveness. How could a few needles and some electric waves alter your condition? Quite a bizarre thought. But apparently, I feel much better after receiving acupuncture treatment. The knee doesn't hurt when pressure is applied to it but it feels rather awkwardly immobile when I walk around. Yeah so it does work somehow which I don't think I'll ever understand. If I had gone to consult the doctor at a polyclinic, I would probably end up in the hospital with a referral letter again. And the doctor would probably do a series of troublesome tests which cost money and my knee problem would be status quo like my ear's.

But still, I told myself that I'd visit the polyclinic if the acupuncture didn't work. Fortunately, it did. I'm going to buy a knee guard soon so that I can do PE next week 'cause no MC for me from the sinseh. Don't reckon they can give MCs eh.

On another note, I really need to focus. On priorities. There's so much work I've not completed for the weekend! It mainly consists of CSC, my most hated subject. What torture. (I secretly hate the annoying fund-raising events too. sucks big time!)

10:05 PM

Friday, February 20, 2009

I'M SO TIRED X10000MILLIONMILLION THAT I CAN SLEEP FOR DAYS. WELL, IF I COULD.

Random notes to me:
1. Kill off negative bothersome imaginative thoughts!!!
2. Must not sleep perpetually in the afternoons this weekend!!!
3. Must stop thinking about cake and food whenever I talk to FT!!!

SRSLY, WHEN IS THE TERM ENDING HUH? I THINK I'LL PROBABLY BE 3/4 COOKED BY THEN.

10:41 PM

Thursday, February 19, 2009

I CRAVE FOR FILET-O-FISH EVEN THOUGH IT HAS 380 CALORIES

11:15 PM

An avalanche of homework waiting to annihilate me this weekend...

MASSIVE AMOUNT OF TUTORIALS, ESSAYS, ASSIGNMENTS AND ACTIVITIES + TUITION + TESTS = GG

9:55 PM

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Absent-minded

I seem to be very forgetful in recent days. I often leave things behind, such as my bottle just some weeks ago. Today, it included my instrument and my file. Only when I was at home did I realise that my file wasn't in my bag. So I phoned someone in school to help check if my file was in the homeroom, and thankfully it was there. Let's hope it will still be there tomorrow so I can retrieve it in one piece. It may have been a blessing in disguise that I left my file in school because it gave me an awesome excuse to take a nap and not do work. Quite a bad day in hindsight but at least the nap compensated for the fatigue...

Thinking in that line, I can't wait to get out of hell. Freaking cannot wait.

Last Sunday, my knee finally gave up on me. It has been giving my problems for some months especially when I exercise but the problems will just vanish when I stop exercising and resume normal life. Now it's problematic even in daily life. Pain, ultimate stiffness at times. Not unbearable, but just an awkward sensation. Have been increasing dosage of medical rubs and plasters and also glucosamine. I'm unsure if it's getting better - it's still pain when pressure is applied. Still stiff at some periods of the day. Hope it get's better because it's such trouble. I'm really getting so much older.

10:57 PM

Friday, February 13, 2009

TGIF!!!

I usually love Fridays a damn hell lot but there's CO in the early morning tomorrow and thinking about it makes me want to wail out loud. Can't sleep in at all as I always do on Saturdays. This is called sleep compensation. And it works hell great because I get at least 10 hours of sleep daily on weekends, as compared to 5 hours of sleep daily during weekdays. That makes a hell lot of difference. Unfortunately, CO is going to rob me of my precious weekend sleep for a couple of weeks to come. Although this thought irks me, I know it will be over soon. Besides, I've survived so many years of crazy practices; this means nothing much to me. I shall practise hard when I've no rehearsal items tomorrow. I've also made my final decision to go for KL trip. Such fickle-mindedness. Intolerable and annoying.

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Many a time, I can't help being so pessimistic. Whenever I'm on the bus heading home, so many matters just run through my head without control and everything just feels so pointless. Maybe I should stop working my brain whenever I'm on the bus alone, or I should occupy myself with some annoying notes or tutorial. The academic part of my life keeps me ever so sane now. It's a queer conclusion, but it does make me forget things momentarily. Whenever I'm busy doing piles of homework, the emptiness does vanish most of the time. Perhaps it's great to be forever occupied with work. I should just sleep instead of churning out all these nonsense.

10:23 PM

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Honey Stars

Omg I bought Honey Stars for someone who had just expressed his/her disdain for the cereal to another person. I was completely unaware of that. But, it coincides with my intentions which are ever so funny.

I've Math class test and CSC case study test tomorrow. So I really pray that tomorrow will pass super quickly and I can go home and recuperate from the sleep deficit, as coined by Yiwei. Feel very tempted to skip school although it's never a plausible idea in my world. When I think about the 2 tests tomorrow, an uncontrollable wave of listlessness just overwhelms me. Sian.

This life is terminating because we're already running the last lap.

10:08 PM

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

That unbearable ennui

Feeling extremely restless these days, I tend to alternate between the computer and my work when I'm at home. It's probably due to the subject I'm supposed to study this week. There's Econs test on Friday so I've convinced myself to start studying TWO DAYS earlier because I'm still pretty confused about the PPP thing. Hate!!! After learning one chapter of macro, I really feel utterly bored and am very grateful towards myself for deciding not to take up the H3 challenge. Phew. And after some minutes of pure concentration on PPP, I'm still rather confused about it. I desperately need to wire my brain and coerce myself into understanding the abstract concept. Wonder how I'm going to study for Econs A's when the time really comes. I don't think I'll be so tyco like last year to achieve quite reasonable grades. It's actually quite impossible when I think about it.

I'm a total goner for Friday's test.

Sian. I really need to power up and chain myself down in front of the study table to get down to real studying. Dire need to finally understand PPP! I seem to get it and also not get it at the same time. What a paradox!

BTW I'm going to KL! A week of severe mental torture coupled with peer (and teacher, somehow) pressure have really done me in. Srsly, I can't wait for school to end although I've no idea what my life will turn out to be like in the future. Real ennui devours my life now. 268 days!

10:03 PM

Sunday, February 01, 2009

SPF

is real. So real. To me, that is.

10:53 PM

Agonising

I don't know if I should go for the upcoming KL trip. As a matter of fact, I promised myself last year that HK trip would be the last of the last in my 6 years of being a full-fledged member, and that I'd dedicate March holidays to um, mugging? Doing IS (more presentable term as compared to lunwen)? Yeah, freaking high possibility... If I do end up going, which I think I will, it will be quite a lonesome trip because of the lack of company. Need to consider even more thoroughly now and weigh the pros and cons.

On another note, I really do hope that this year passes quickly. I really hate being rooted in that same position after so many years. Really need to have more unpredictable stuff coming my way, and new breezes of fresh air. And finally, a new phase of life. Getting out of the shell.

11:50 AM

About

Felicia studied in Dunman High School, loves elmo, is a major drama addict and is a cake lover. She has quit coffee even though she loves it.